Composed by Vice Staff
Here at Rec Room, we’re shameless freaks for Halloween, and we truly consider it time to shine with our spooky roundups of sex toys, “tater thot” costumes, and our lifelong obsession with the 12ft skeleton. from Home Depot. But we don’t believe in guilty pleasures, only pleasures; we also simp for everyone’s favorite healthy fall flavor: the iconic, beloved and everlasting pumpkin spice.
We can hear the siren on the Starbucks logo sobbing, as we’ve gone far beyond the latte and into the lesser-known realm of pumpkin spice. We swam through cinnamon, cardamom, and clove and found the best pumpkin spice products to fully immerse you in fall culture…in a non-basic way. Put your PSL down – this list is going to require your full attention. Pumpkin spice lube? Yes. CBD pumpkin spice? Sure. We’ve found better than coffee, deodorant that reminds us of the upstate farmer’s market, oil to scrub your one night stand, upgraded cookie dough and way, way beyond the latte (or pie).
The good gummies of our patron saint Martha Stewart
There’s no one more on vacation than Martha Stewart, and her joy doesn’t stop at baked goods and painted water bottles. Described by our writer’s roommate as “a bakery in a bag,” these CBD gummies are a collaboration between Home Goddess and Canopy, and are like Haribo’s stoner cousin frolicking in a pumpkin patch. They’re THC-free, but have a soothing effect as described by our writer who tried them (and loved them), so expect a slow ride of calm without the paranoia.
$34.99 at store awning
Self-proclaimed “Basic Ass Pumpkin Spice Latte Soap”
Those wealthy suburban moms may have ruined Bath & Body Works for us, but they can’t claim this Basic Ass PSL bar soap from Duke Cannon. It’s been the brand’s most popular seasonal scent since 2003, so they have to live up to consumers’ noses. We also appreciate the truthful name.
$9.50 at Duke Cannon
The only time it’s OK to be vanilla
Sex during spooky season should be as weird as it comes (no pun intended), but we find it okay to be rubbed with the most (metaphorically) vanilla flavors while boning with this oil. Pumpkin Spice Massage Cream. Glide your fingers over your bae with a blend of sweet almond oil, soybean oil, and the alluring scent of warming pie spice for some much-needed aromatherapy.
$21.99 at Amazon
Unfortunately, our consumption of lattes doesn’t magically make us smell amazing. How about slathering on Native’s PSL deodorant…? The verdict says yes, with its 4.7 stars on Amazon. Native is already one of the best natural deodorant brands in the pit game, so there’s no reason not to give it a try and put your Old Spice into seasonal storage.
$24 at Amazon
Dough more moody than a pre-teen
This take-out, bakeable Pillsbury cookie dough infused with festive colorful pumpkins and bats is a seasonal classic, but we try to avoid eating these cookies all day until December 1. It’s time to raise our sweet tooth with cookie dough that offers “mood support” to get us through a long week. DEUX’s edible cookie dough pumpkin spice flavor uses a combination of reishi, ginseng, and chocolate chunks to knock out your case of sadness while also serving as stoner-food candle filling. Be a pagan and eat out of the jar, or channel your inner Martha and bake real cookies – it does both, folks.
$15 at Of them
When we say ‘pumpkin spice’ you mean ‘latte’. But the best way to sip flavor may very well include ABV. Hard coffee brand Rebel offers a warm, chocolatey, alcohol-infused pumpkin spice latte, and you already know what we think of fall brewskies. Shipyard’s Smashed Pumpkin is the full-bodied pale ale we need in our repertoire, with its notes of nutmeg. The brewer also has a pumpkin spice hard seltzer??? OKAY! Finally, our pupils dilated for this cider infused with apples, pumpkin and chai by Downeast. It’s a Christian way to celebrate fall [Sent from my Satanic dungeon].
$11.99 at drizzle
$11.99 at drizzle
$19.99 at drizzle
$9.99 at Total Wine
Make your pores festive
Pumpkins can do more than flavor your beer. Enzyme-rich squash is a workhorse in skincare – this super popular Pumpkin Face Mask by Peter Thomas Roth is a skin resurfacer that exfoliates, peels and polishes a dull, aging complexion – very on-brand for Halloween. Oh, and don’t worry, it also has a signature PSL scent.
Peter Thomas Roth
$60 at Sephora
Pumpkin Spice Crotch
Tight boxers with “pumpkin spice” stuck in the crotch – it really is the season. They may not be scratch ‘n sniff, but need we say more?
$17.99 at Amazon
May the pumpkin spice be with you, always.
Rec Room staff independently curated all items featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations and great deals? Subscribe to our newsletter.