Jhe bakery has changed significantly over the years. At the time, it was Bakers Delight versus Brumby’s. Cheesymite versus Cheddarmite. Scone against scone. But now bakeries are very often specialty, artisanal, naturally leavened, locally sourced, seasonal, artisan and all that other stuff that makes you say “take my money”. But high-end or low-end, we don’t make a distinction: Australians really love a bakery.
10. Slice of vanilla
They say the fewer the ingredients, the more likely you are to notice its flaws. This is the case with this heavy pastry, vaguely inspired by the French mille-feuille: icing, pastry cream and puff pastry are the three components of the humble Aussie “snot block”. Found mostly in suburban bakeries and in country towns, luscious custard is often stabilized with too much cornstarch, causing the ubiquitous snotty texture and characteristic bounce. An acquired taste or an affectionate nostalgia based on a technical error? Unfortunately, the latter.
9. Lamington
Is it an Australian or Kiwi invention? We don’t really care. This cake cabinet stable is a buttery sponge cake coated in chocolate sauce and rolled in desiccated coconut.
But people don’t want to admit that desiccated coconut is almost always rancid. You know that roommate you had who insisted on cooking everything in coconut oil because it was anti-inflammatory? And every time they fried an egg, the air was always filled with this feel? Yeah, that. No amount of jam or cream can neutralize this flavor once it’s released between your teeth. On the rare occasions when the coconut is not rancid, this pastry can be transcendent. But once we apply the law of averages, the lamington unfortunately stops near the back.
8. Neenish Pie
Shortcrust pastry, jam, cream and icing don’t sound too appealing or exciting texture-wise, but for some reason this combination has stood the test of time and still exists in bakeries today. today. Outrageously sweet, chewy, and single-serving, neenish pies are harmless in every way. They’re fun to look at, fun for others to buy, but eating them always tastes like a facsimile of a memory and, ultimately, a disappointment.
7. Chocolate Chip Bikkies
It’s impossible to go wrong with a chocolate chip cookie because even a crappy cookie is good. These days, there are candles made with brown butter, crushed tea, single-origin chocolate, grains of salt, and rested overnight — but who would refuse plain, standard, white sugar and sprinkles? bikki milk chocolate? Nobody. A true peacemaker of the people.
6. Snail
It’s highly controversial to place raisins above chocolate chips in any ranking, but it’s a universally known fact that once raisins are rolled into a puff pastry and risen, stuck with pastry cream and cooked, they reign supreme. Even in a suspicious bakery where you’re wary of your sandwich bread, a snail never fails to please. Don’t @ me.
5. Sausage roll
It’s one of the few things the Brits gave us that we managed to completely ruin and still love. As a nation, we’ve adapted our taste buds to expect and relish under-seasoned ground meat that’s been overworked to the point where it’s gooey and calls it “a little treat.” Is it objectively bad? Yes. Do we still love him? Also, yes.
4. Almond Croissant
It’s the “don’t waste, don’t want” of the pastry world. Fancy bakeries may bake croissants specifically for the almond treat, but usually day-old pastries are topped with almond cream, sliced almonds, and baked again. No matter where you get them, they’re instantly satisfying because of the heavy, nutty balm that breathes new life into the revived bakery. Some may say that almond cream hides all the overly stubborn and potentially stale sins, but beware of cheap almond essence additions. Use your nose before using your mouth.
3. Melting Moments
How can a sandwich of shortbread, buttercream, shortbread be so high? These cookies are an example of not having too much butter – because shortbread is typically 50% butter and buttercream is… well, the name says it all. The balance between butter and lemon juice makes it the epitome of perfect simplicity.
2. Meat pie
When they’re good, they’re awesome, and when they’re bad, they’re still pretty awesome. Our collective minds are so accustomed to chewy dough and a sloppy, saucy filling that when faced with homemade flaky crusts encapsulating easily identifiable, robustly seasoned chunks of beef, instead of being blown away, we don’t we are only pleasantly surprised. Is it possible that there is no bad pie? Only in Australia.
1. Vegemite and cheese roll
The Vegemite and Cheese Scroll is synonymous with growing up in Australia. It encapsulates our salty temper in a shameless, unrefined snack. Yeast extract, yeast dough, and cheese should be a combination that sends anyone running to the doctor — but instead, we line up and enthusiastically wrap our laughing gear around it. 10/10. No notes.
